


Safe Haven

by Eve1978



Category: Loki - Fandom, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Christmas, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Feels, Romance, Sexual Content, Snowed In, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-01 15:14:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2777849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eve1978/pseuds/Eve1978
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wanted to write something short involving a sweet version of Loki and Christmas, I don't know why Loki is the one bringing out the Christmas feels for me but here we are... </p><p>There will be a couple of chapters for this one, I want to get it done before Christmas, smut will appear in chapter 3!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

‘Mum it’s just a bit of snow, I’m sure I’ll be fine’ I was struggling to keep my phone against my ear as I tried to carry two heavy bags of groceries up the stairs to my flat,’ I have food and candles and besides Leyla is home too so I won’t be alone…there is nothing to worry about okay? I’m sure we will survive a little snow storm’  

As I reached the top of the stairs I tried to snatch my keys from my pocket and lost hold of one of the bags in the process. 

‘Fuuuuck!’ as I managed to save the bag my phone slipped through my fingers, hit the floor and before I could react I could see him sliding away from me to the other side of the hallway,’ oh for fuck’s sake!’   
As I reached out to grab it I watched someone lift it from the floor right before my hand could get to it.

  I looked up into his familiar pale face, staring back at me with those deep green eyes and serious expression that didn’t give anything away, it was the only expression I had ever seen on him and it always freaked me out a little bit.  

He had been living next door for a few months now and I still didn’t know his name or anything about him, he never talked to anyone in the building and when someone ran into him in the hallway he always made haste to disappear into his apartment as soon as he could without having to interact. 

Leyla started to refer to him as creepy neighbor guy, I referred to him as hot mysterious neighbor guy because he was undeniably gorgeous.  From his pale skin to his piercing blue eyes, the raven black curly hair and those sensual thin lips, not to mention those long legs that went on forever and the fact that he loved to wear black so much.    
He reached out his arm to hand me back my phone.  

‘I…um…thank you,’ I said hesitantly,’ I really should be more careful’

His eyes rested on me for a few seconds and then he just nodded his head, still the same distant look in his eyes.  

‘You should’ he spoke and before I could answer back he disappeared into his apartment and I watched the door close behind him. 

It was the first time I actually heard his deep voice and it gave me chills, so much so that I was unable to move for a moment.  

The sound of my mother’s voice through the phone brought me back down to earth. 

‘Hellooo? Honey? Are you still there? What on earth happened?!’ ‘It’s alright mum, I just dropped my phone, everything is fine’

As I entered the apartment Leyla came rushing towards me to help with the bags and put them onto the kitchen table.

 ‘Is it snowing already?’she asked, showing me a little smile full of anticipation.    
‘Not yet, but it’s getting pretty dark though, I think it’s gonna come down very soon,’I said as I turned on a few lights and watched the clock to see it wasn’t even 4 pm yet,’ I just ran into our neighbour again’

She raised her eyebrow at me as she was putting the groceries into the fridge.

  ‘What do you think he’ll do for Christmas?’ I asked,’ I bet he is alone, I have never even seen anyone visit there, maybe we should…’  
‘Do not say what I think you’re about to say’ she said, raising her finger at me.

‘What? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do for Christmas? Invite strangers into your home?’I said with a little smile. 

‘Not creepy strangers’ she threw back.   
‘He’s not creepy,’ I objected,’ he just likes to keep to himself’  
 ‘Which is exactly what creepy guys do!’ she said.  

‘Well I don’t think he’s creepy,’ I said with a sigh,’ I think he is just lonely and could probably use a friend’

She closed the fridge and shook her head as she looked at me. 

‘See that attitude is exactly how single girls get themselves killed in the big city’ she said as she rolled her eyes.  
  ‘You’re paranoid’ I said, ignoring what she just said.   
‘And you’re gullible,’ she said with a soft smile,’ please promise me you will not invite him over‘

‘Fine,’ I pouted,’ I won’t invite him over’

‘I thought you would be a bit more careful Scar,’ she then said,’ given…’ 

She bit her lip and ate her words.   
‘I’m sorry,’ she then said,’ shouldn’t have brought that up’ 

‘No you shouldn’t have’ I said as I took off my coat and hung it in our little closet in the hallway before I walked to the living room and peeked through the curtain, as I looked up I could see the first snow flakes falling down.  

‘Yep, white Christmas’ I sighed.

Leyla walked up to me and I could see the smile on her face as she watched the snow and let out a deep happy sigh.

 ‘It’s just snow’ I shrugged my shoulders.  
  ‘Still not feeling it huh?’ she asked.  
 ‘Nope,’ I sighed,’ a bit of snow is not gonna change that Leyla’ 

‘Oh don’t worry,’ she smiled,’ by the end of the night I will put you in the Christmas spirit, just you wait’

She tried her utter best, the tree was gorgeous, the lights very festive and warm and the food in the oven already smelled delicious, I even had to admit that the cheesy Christmas songs that filled our apartment were putting me in the mood a little bit.  

We were both stranded here and not just by the snow storm, even if the skies were clear we still wouldn’t be able to afford a ticket to visit our families back in England.   

We were stuck in the Big Apple and while it was without a doubt one of the best places to be around Christmas time, I would have given anything to just roam the streets of London for a few hours, see the front door of my old house and the Christmas tree my dad decorated against his will or smell my mum’s roasted chicken. 

  I loved this city and I never regretted my decision to come here but I was homesick a lot of the time and not making enough money yet to be able to travel back home as much as I would like, the truth was we barely made enough money to be able to pay for this apartment and food, let alone go out and have some actual fun.

  The holidays just made that feeling even worse, everyone had plans, gifts to buy and places to go. I couldn’t wait for December to be over.  

‘Hey, come on,’ Leyla said as she noticed the sad look on my face,’ let’s pick out a Christmas movie and get drunk’  

***

  We were somewhere in the middle of Bad Santa when Leyla’s phone started ringing.

 ‘Ugh, it’s work’ she sighed as she put her phone back down.  
  ‘Shouldn’t you get it?’ I asked, surprised by her missing work ethics as a nurse. 

‘They are probably just short staffed and calling people until they find a few suckers who will give up their Christmas eve, let them go down the list first before I’m one of those suckers that actually picks up their phone’ she said and I smiled.  

But after 10 minutes her ring tone filled our apartment again, and 5 minutes later again.

 ‘Fuck’ she sighed.  
 ‘You have to get it,’ I said,’ you’re a nurse, there are probably sick people who need you and you’re gonna turn your back on them on Christmas?’

I gave her a judgmental look and she let out a deep annoyed sigh. 

 ‘I don’t want to leave you alone on Christmas eve’ she sighed.  
  ‘I’m not wounded or sick, I will be fine,’ I said,’ pick up the damn phone’

‘Fine’ she sighed and disappeared into the kitchen as she answered the call.   I listened to her trying to make up excuses but it seemed useless and after a few tries I could hear her give in and agree to come into work as soon as she could.    
She walked up to me with a guilty look on her face.

 ‘I am so, so sorry Scar,’ she said,’ there’s been an accident involving several cars and they can’t handle all the wounded coming in, I tried to get out of it but I couldn’t say no’   
‘Of course you couldn’t!’ I faked a smile, trying my best to pretend I wasn’t bothered,’ Leyla please it’s your job, I completely understand, don’t even worry about it, go, help people!’

She looked at me with a sad look on her face. 

‘I will just finish this movie and this bottle of wine alone,’ I continued,’ and then I’m going to bed early, I’ll save you some roast’

I gave her another smile and it appeared to be working, the worry on her face made room for a smile as she nodded her head.  

‘That would be nice,’ she said and she took her coat with a sigh,’ I don’t know when I’ll be back, if the snow is too bad I might have to spend the night at the hospital’   
‘Don’t worry about it,’ I waved my hand at her and watched her put on her coat and took her bag,’ merry Christmas’

‘Merry Christmas,’ she smiled and before she opened the door she turned around to look at me again,’ are you sure Scar?’

  ‘Will you please go?’ I insisted.

  ‘Okay,I will call you when I’m on a break alright?’  
 ‘Go’ I repeated and I watched her leave.

I pulled my blanket up a little higher and settled in for the night, I wanted to fill my wine glass but changed my mind and just took the whole bottle instead as I pressed Play and the movie continued.  I wasn’t even twenty minutes in when I heard the wind howl remarkably louder and I could hear the snow pounding against the windows, it was really coming down out there.  

Maybe I was alone tonight but at least I was inside where it was warm, I had alcohol and a roof over my head and delicious food in the oven and people who missed me, aren’t those the things you are supposed to be thankful for at Christmas?  

As I pulled out my phone to check if I had any messages all of a sudden the entire apartment was covered in darkness.  

Everything was dead, the lights, the tv, the oven…shit the oven…no no no why tonight of all nights?!   

I had a vague idea of where our electrical cabinet was but it was in the basement of the building and there was no way I was going in there alone. I still hadn’t moved from my spot on the couch and my heart was starting to race, thank God the candles on the table brought a little bit of light into the room.  

Then I noticed it was completely dark outside too, I walked up to the window to see the buildings on the other side of the street were drenched in darkness too, as was the rest of the block for as far as I could see.   

For a moment I felt relieved that it wasn’t just my flat but it soon disappeared as I thought of a city wide blackout and what it might do to people, especially on Christmas Eve and I became painfully aware that I was alone, completely alone. 

I could feel my hands starting to shake and I tried to calm down my breathing. 

‘Fuck, come on Scar, suck it up, you’re safe here’ I sighed as I walked to the door and checked the lock, the door was locked, somehow it didn’t make me feel safer, I knew it was all in my head but it didn’t feel any less real to me.

  I decided to take the roast out of the oven and finish the last bit of wine, hoping the alcohol would reduce my nerves as it usually did when there was a loud knock on my door and I almost let out a scream.

  I didn’t really know anyone of the neighbors well enough to want to spend this night in darkness with them, I would be better off in here on my own so I did what I usually do when I want to avoid something: ignore it until it goes away on its own. 

There were a few more knocks and then it stopped but I could still hear movement in the hallway.   Slowly and as quietly as I could I walked over to the door, wishing for the billionth time that we had invested in a little spy hole, there was definitely still someone out there and my only choices now were to continue ignoring it or to open the door. 

My fear was in conflict with my curiosity and I already hated myself because I knew which one would win…  

My hand was on the door handle and I slowly opened it, I stared into a dark hallway, there was nobody to be seen, not in front of me anyway but as I looked down I could see it sitting in the corner next to the stairs, a little black kitten looking up at me with big scared eyes. 

The fear in this little creature made me forget all about my own and I carefully walked closer as I leaned down. 

‘Hey little one, are you lost?’ I tried to keep my voice as quiet as I could so I wouldn’t scare it away.  

As I reached out my hand it softly nudged its head against my palm and purred quietly, putting a smile on my face.  

‘It’s alright, I’m scared too’ I whispered and just as I tried to grab the little animal we both got startled from a loud bang, the cat slipped through my fingers and down the stairs before I could stop it. 

But as I stood up I realized that was the least of my worries now.   The loud bang was my apartment door that was now shut behind me, leaving me in a dark hallway again and panic hit me when I realized my keys were on the inside of the door.

  ‘No,’ I whispered shocked as I leaned against the outside of the door and tried to push it open, unsuccessfully of course,’ fuck…fuck…’  

I searched the pockets of my jeans but of course my phone was also inside the apartment, this night was going from bad to worse. 

I let myself sink down to the floor with my back against the door and my hands in my hair as I let out a deep desperate sigh.   There was no way back in and I also couldn’t call Leyla, and even if I could there was no way I could ask her to come back from work, if this black out was as big as it seemed the hospital would be overwhelmed tonight.  

Our land lord was unreachable on a normal day, there was no way I could get a hold of him tonight on Christmas Eve, and I needed a phone to even try and get in touch with anyone. I cursed myself for ever opening up that door.  

As I sat there for another several minutes that felt like hours I was also becoming very aware that I was only wearing a thin t-shirt and the temperature in the hallway was not even close to the one in our warm cosy apartment.  I was going to have to knock on someone’s door and ask for help, I had no choice.   As I was trying to work up the courage to get up I could see a little light coming from the hallway, it was coming closer but I still couldn’t see anybody, it wasn’t until the light was right in front of me that I could see his pale face in the light of the candle he was holding, his black clothes made the rest of him invisible in the dark.  

He lowered the candle to be able to look at me and I looked up into his piercing green eyes. 

Neither of us spoke for a few moments while his eyes rested on me and looked me up and down, his face filled with something resembling surprise, curiosity, maybe even worry.    
He got down on bended knee, his face right in front of me now and he let out a visible sigh when he looked at me, my face must have been full of panic or fear because he definitely looked worried now.

  ‘Are you hurt?’ he asked softly. 

I shook my head.    
‘I locked myself out,’ I managed to speak, my voice was shaking,’ and my friend won’t be home until tomorrow and…I’m not sure what to do now’ 

To my surprise he stood up, creating distance between us again.  But then he reached out his hand to me.

  ‘Come with me’ his voice was deep and quiet at the same time, sending even more cold shivers through me.  

I had no choice, I could either go with him or freeze in this dark hallway all by myself, it was a small building and I knew a few of the other apartments were empty, I couldn’t take the risk of putting my faith in other tenants, for all I know me and him were the only two people in the building. 

He was my best option…

 I put my hand into his and tried to ignore the sparks I felt as his hand tightened around mine and he pulled me up, meeting my eyes again.  

He held out the candle in front of him and he kept hold of my hand as he guided me through the dark hallway up to his apartment.  

I probably should have been scared or at least a little nervous, given my trust in men…and the fact that I didn’t know anything about this quiet mysterious yet devilishly handsome stranger.   

But all I could feel was his long fingers entangling with mine as he walked the hallway and kept me close to him. Somehow getting away from him was the last thing on my mind.  

He opened the door to his apartment and let me step inside first, as soon as I set foot into the room my heart was stuck in my throat.

  ‘Oh holy crap…’


	2. Chapter 2

His apartment did not look like ours in the slightest, it didn’t even look like an apartment at all.  

There was no kitchen, no closets or tables, no tv or radio…only one big couch with lots of pillows in the middle of the large room, stacks of books in every corner, big black dusty curtains and lots and lots of candles on the green carpeted floor.  

‘This is…where you live?’ my voice was barely a whisper and I had let go of his hand as I stepped further into the room, amazed by the silence in here and the mood that was set by the soft candlelight and the whole soberness of the space, and also a little bit frightened by the obvious fire hazard waiting to happen.

  ‘I am not around very often’ he spoke softly as he closed the door behind us.  

I hadn’t been wrong in my description of him as mysterious, mysterious didn’t even come close.   

He must have noticed the stunned look on my face because he stepped closer and carefully nudged my hand with his, making me look at him as he gave me a little smile.  

‘There is no need to be frightened’ he then said. 

‘I’m not’ I answered and as my eyes stayed locked with his I realised I wasn’t lying.    
He had a calm over him that made my nerves disappear and made me feel completely at ease.

 Being out of the dark also gave me the opportunity to take a better look at him, his long legs were covered in a tight black jeans stuffed into black leather boots and a black cardigan, his long black hair was slightly curly where it reached his shoulders.     
As I met his eyes I realized I had been staring and quickly changed my gaze to the other side of the room, hoping he hadn’t noticed.  He grabbed something from the couch and reached his arm out to me.

 ‘I’m sorry it is not very warm in here,’ he apologized as he handed me one of his black sweaters,’ I never get cold’ 

I quickly put it on and let out a relieved sigh as I felt the warmth around my arms and chest.

‘Thank you’ I said as I tried not to blush thinking about this sweater and the many times it must have been stuck to his body, it suddenly felt very intimate and I turned my back to him and walked up to the couch.  

‘Please sit’ he said and he waited until I was on the couch before sitting down next to me.

  ‘I thought I was the only one celebrating Christmas alone,’ I said with a weak smile,’ my friend has to work and my family lives far away so it’s just me…do you have any family?’

‘Far away’ he answered quietly, stopping me from asking anything more on the subject.

  ‘I don’t celebrate Christmas where I come from’ he then said. 

‘Where are you from?’ I asked, biting my lip at all my intrusive questions,’ I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to’

‘It’s alright’ he said but he still didn’t answer, his eyes were staring at me again.

  ‘Are you still cold?’ he then asked.   
‘It’s getting better’ I smiled thankfully as I pulled my legs up next to me.

‘I’m sorry’ he said.  
 ‘For what?’

‘That you are not able to spend today with your family,’ he explained,’ I’ve been told this is an important day to be around loved ones’ 

‘Yes well, every day should be,shouldn’t it?’ I sighed and he nodded his head,’ I’m not a big fan of Christmas, I kind of hate everything about it actually’ 

He stood up from the couch and opened one of the big curtains.

 ‘Even this?’ he then asked and I turned around to look at him and then through the window, he opened another curtain as I stood up and walked over to him.  

The snow was falling hard, everything outside was white, making the darkness a little more bearable, you could see candlelight coming out of a lot of windows and some people walking around on the side walk laughing and throwing snow at each other.   I felt like I was watching a scene from an old movie.

  ‘I don’t know what Christmas is,’ he said,’ but I think this is beautiful’

‘It is’ I whispered as I stared outside, I couldn’t look away from this dreamy scenery and I forgot why I panicked before, everything about this was perfect, peaceful, there was nothing to worry about.

Suddenly I was aware of his body standing behind mine, as he stepped closer I could feel his breath against my neck, making me shiver.

  ‘You are still cold’ he noticed and he put his hands on my shoulders and pressed his chest against my back, the sudden contact startled me and I instinctively jumped and backed away from him.

  ‘I’m sorry!’ we both said at the same time.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I repeated,’ it’s not you, please believe it is not you, I just…I…don’t respond well to sudden physical contact…especially not with strangers…I’m…I’m sorry’ 

‘You don’t need to explain anything,’ he said as he stepped back to the couch,’ it was not my place, I am sorry, I will not touch you again’

I stayed quiet and looked at him for a moment, almost feeling regret at his words. 

‘It’s just…,’ I took a deep sigh and sat down next to him on the couch,’ my ex boyfriend was…when our relationship ended he…got aggressive and violent and…’

‘Please, you do not need to explain,’ he insisted but when he looked at me his eyes changed,’ unless you want to…’

I nodded my head and suddenly I could feel them, the tears I had been holding back all night, they finally managed to fight their way through. The real reason I hated Christmas…

  ‘I broke up with him a few weeks before Christmas, this was 4 years ago’ I explained in a shaky voice,’ on Christmas eve I was alone in my apartment in London when…he forced his way inside, tried to convince me to take him back. I refused but he wouldn’t take no for an answer, he kept pushing and persuading me until he realized it was no use…so he just pinned me down to the ground with his hands around my throat…’

I turned my head away from him as I bit back the tears, I hadn’t talked about this in a very long time, apart from my parents Leyla was the only person who knew and I’ve never even told her any details. 

  Of course I thought about it every Christmas but I usually managed to drink it away and keep myself extra busy during the holidays, knowing it would be over soon and it would go back to being nothing but a bad memory in the back of my mind.    
But right now it suddenly felt very close to me, this night was too dark and quiet with no way to run or hide from my thoughts, and now I was breaking down in front of this gorgeous man that I had never even talked to before.  

I could feel his caring eyes on me and he stayed quiet, waiting until I was ready to tell him more.  And I don’t know why I felt the need to share all this with him, he was a stranger but maybe that was exactly what made this easier.  

‘I thought he was going to…force himself on me,’ I spoke quietly,’ but he was too angry to even think about that I guess…he just started hitting me and when I was too weak to fight back he got up and punched me in the stomach until I was unconscious…’

I could see him reach out his hand to grab mine but he stopped midway and took it back, deciding it better not to touch me again after my previous reaction.

  ‘I was passed out on the floor in my living room for several hours,’ I continued,’ I remember coming to and then sinking away again time after time, my eye sight was so blurry all I could make out were the Christmas lights in my tree and…I remember the pain…the physical pain’ 

I remembered it so clearly I could still feel my stomach turn at the thought of it.

  ‘And then I felt it all fading away slowly and all I could think of was…I am going to die, right here, under this stupid Christmas tree’ I sobbed as I wiped my tears away and finally looked at him again, seeing the horrified look on his face.  

‘I’m sorry, I don’t know why I told you this,’ I confessed,’ you’ve been so helpful letting me into your apartment, I’m sure you didn’t sign up for this’

I got up from the couch and started walking towards the door, I had no idea what I was doing or where I was going but it suddenly felt very unfair to lay all my burdens on this friendly stranger.   
 I’m sure he was just being polite but in reality he probably couldn’t wait to see me gone.

  ‘Please stay’ he begged and he was up from the couch and in front of me in an instant.

  ‘Please’ he repeated, softer this time, his eyes were full of compassion as he looked at me but it was more than that, there was pain in there, his own pain and it suddenly made me feel less intrusive.    
There was no need for me to be embarrassed with him, he knew…he understood.

I nodded my head and stared back at him.  

‘I’m fine,’ I then said as I wiped my tears away again, determined not to spill any more,’ I was lucky you know, lucky that I wasn’t hurt more or that he didn’t…’

 I ate my words as I shook my head and looked at him, his face still filled with shock. 

’It could have been much worse,’ I continued,’ there was no permanent damage’  
‘No permanent physical damage’ he said softly. 

‘Yes,’ I admitted,’ the human mind is a little bit more complicated. Most days I don’t even think about it anymore, but some moments…they are small, like the way you pulled me against you unexpectedly…they catch me off guard and I freeze for a second. It’s getting better but…Christmas is always hard’

‘Is that why you hate it so much?’ he asked. 

‘Yes, I didn’t always’ I said.  

‘Maybe you just need to make better Christmas memories to replace those bad ones’ he then said, I noticed he was standing right in front of me now, his body almost touching mine but he kept his distance. 

‘Maybe’ I said.  

His eyes were piercing into mine, making it impossible for me to look away. The initial shock of what I just told him was gone from his face, all I could see there now was sympathy and sadness.

  ‘Can I?’ he then asked softly, touching my hand with his fingers carefully, I could tell he was trying his best to not make me jump away again, still keeping his distance, brushing my hand only slightly with his,’ will you please let me touch you?’  

His voice was almost begging me and there was no way I could refuse him, I needed his comfort.

‘Yes’ I whispered.

He brought his hand to my face and slowly touched my cheeks with his thumbs before sinking them down to rest on my shoulders and then lower, his fingers danced across my arms putting goosebumps all over me, then down to my waist, where he grabbed me and pulled me against his chest softly, his touch was so slow and careful, as if he was still afraid to scare me away if he made one wrong move.  

When I felt his arms around me I relaxed against him and finally dared to breathe out. I put my arms around his waist and held him close to me, his hands were caressing my back, one hand climbed higher to my neck and into my hair, holding me close to him with his entire body now.  

‘You’re safe with me’ he whispered into my ear, making me cling to him even harder.   I knew it wasn’t rational but I believed him more than I had ever believed anyone.


	3. Chapter 3

I sat down on the bed, it wasn’t actually a bed but a big mattress lying on the floor and covered in pillows and blankets, he closed the door of the room behind us.  

‘Tell me there are no candles left burning in there’ I said.    
‘You are safe’ he said, giving me a little smile but not really answering my question as he put the one big candle he was holding next to us on the floor.  

I pulled the blankets over my legs and let out a deep sigh as the fabric warmed me up. I could tell he hesitated for a moment but he lifted the blanket and crawled into the bed next to me.

  ‘It’s okay,’ I said,’ I’m not going to freak out on you again, I just had to let that out…thank you for listening to me’  
‘No problem,’ he spoke softly as he sank down on the pillow next to mine,’ are you still cold?’

‘A little bit,’ I confessed,’ maybe I should move a bit closer to you’

I bit my lip at my not so subtle attempt at flirting with him, I wasn’t sure where this was coming from. I felt at ease with him but it was more than that now, he really did make me feel safe and ever since he hugged me I longed to feel his touch again.

Without saying a word he took my hand and pulled me closer to him, I smiled when I felt his arms around me and rested my head on his shoulder. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it up to my head to make me feel warmer.

  We both lay for a few minutes without talking, just enjoying being close to each other in the quiet of the room and the soft candlelight while the snow was falling hard against the windows outside. 

I noticed that while his body still felt cold against mine I was heating up, as if he was sending out some inner warmth that I could feel through my bones and that took the last bit of cold away.  

‘How are you doing that?’ I asked softly.  
‘I have some tricks’ he whispered as he tightened his arms around me.

I smiled as I closed my eyes, it didn’t take long for me to drift off into a much needed peaceful sleep.   

It was a short sleep and I woke up a few hours later to find his eyes studying my face, those gorgeous mysterious green eyes, I swear they were the greenest green I had ever seen and I could drown in them if I stared too long. 

‘Did you just watch me sleep?’ I asked with a little smile,’ cause that’s a little creepy’   
‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered,’ you just looked so peaceful and calm’

His thumb was caressing my cheek, making me melt completely as his eyes rested on my lips, he pressed his forehead against mine and breathed out deeply.   I pulled him closer to me, this night was turning out so much better than I had expected, I was beginning to believe this black out might be the best thing that could have happened to me because it brought me him.    
And there was no place I would rather be right now than right here in his arms.

  ‘I just realized…,’ I spoke softly,’ I don’t even know your name, I’m Scarlett but my friends call me Scar’  

He nodded his head as his hands were caressing my back and his eyes found mine.    
‘That’s a beautiful name’ he then said softly. 

‘Thank you,’ I smiled,’ so what’s yours, mysterious neighbor?’  
  ‘It’s…,’ I could see he was hesitating but then he gave me a little smile and spoke anyway,’ my name is Loki’ 

I stared at him for a few moments in silence. Why did he hesitate to give me his name? 

He noticed my doubt and shook his head as he continued,’ I’m sorry, I’m…I don’t want to lie to you…there’s a reason why I keep to myself’

  I leaned on my elbow and lifted my head to see him better, I could tell he was still hesitating.  
  ‘Come on,’ I insisted,’ I told you mine, now tell me yours’

‘You might not want to share this bed with me if I tell you mine’ he said, his voice sounded darker and more emotional all of a sudden, I could see the sudden insecurity in his eyes.  
 I let my hand run through his hair and down to his neck, his face looked even more perfect in the candlelight.  

‘I promise I won’t judge you or run from you’ I then said softly, surprising myself yet again.  I meant it, there wasn’t anything he could say to me that would make me want to move from this spot and out of his arms.

  ‘I’m not from around here,’ he said softly,’ I don’t really…belong here…but I also don’t belong in the place I used to call home, I don’t know what home is anymore…I’m sorry, I know that sounds vague but I can’t tell you more details’  

He softly pushed his forehead against my cheek and I hugged him tight.  

‘It’s okay’ I whispered, feeling my heart break for him, if I knew anything it was the pain of missing home and at least I knew where mine was.  

‘That’s not all of it,’ he then continued, breaking the hug so he could look at me again,’ there are people out there looking for me and when they find me…well, let’s just say it will not be a happy reunion. That’s why I move around a lot, never stay in the same place for too long’   
‘You’re on the run?’ I asked.  

‘Yes’ he said.

 ‘From who?’ I asked shocked,’ why?’   
‘I can’t tell you that,’ he sighed,’ please believe me it is better if you don’t know, I’m…I am not a good man Scarlett…and…I don’t expect you to stay now that I’ve told you this’

I looked at him, we both didn’t speak for a while until I felt his hands leave me and he looked away from me.  

‘Please call me Scar,’ I then said, making him look up in surprise as I took his face between my hands,’ you’ve been nothing but a good man to me…Loki’  

He smiled a little happy smile and pulled me into his arms again.

  ‘I meant what I said,’ he whispered into my ear,’ you are safe with me’  
‘I believe you’ I whispered as I leaned back but I didn’t get a chance to pull away this time, his hand was in my neck and his lips were on mine before I could say anything else.    
And suddenly there was nothing else left to say…

His kiss was gentle and slow, same as his touch and it made me crave it even more.  I tangled my fingers into his hair as his lips were caressing mine, his hands made their way down my back to pull me closer to him and he deepened the kiss, I shivered at the touch of his tongue brushing with mine, opening up my mouth a little bit more with every stroke until all I could think of was the need to taste every inch of his mouth.  

He was sucking my bottom lip while he pulled me onto his lap, my legs placed around him as his hands sank down from my back to my thighs and when he pushed his hips up against my center I could feel the huge bulge in his pants making the heat pool between my legs.  

He broke the kiss to come up for air and I whimpered at the loss of his mouth on mine.  He was breathing heavily and fast and his hand was in my neck again, pulling my head back as he licked my neck, from my collar bone to my earlobe, every kiss made me melt a little bit more and I started rolling my hips against him, feeling the hardness that was starting to strain in his jeans. 

 I hadn’t been with anyone since…since the bastard that made me turn away from all men.  I had forgotten what a man’s touch felt like, but I was pretty sure it never felt anything like this. 

His hands were like electricity making me burn from the inside.  

My breath was caught in my throat as I felt his erection push at that perfect spot between my legs and his heavy breath on my skin, I was pretty sure my panties were already soaked by now.  
  I looked down to see his eyes on me, they were so full of affection but also full of lust and his mouth was on mine again.  

He turned me around on the bed so that he was lying on top of me, I smiled into his kiss but when he leaned back suddenly all I saw was him towering over me and me being caught beneath him with all his weight on me, unable to move, unable to get away…and suddenly the moment went from being incredibly hot to suffocating and frightening. 

 I no longer saw Loki’s pale face and black hair, his skin was now tanned with short blond hair and the evil angry grin of my ex on his lips as he was holding me down on the ground.    
My breath was coming out in little shocks, I was panicking and I couldn’t seem to stop it, my hands clutched at his chest as I tried to push him up but he grabbed my wrists and started shaking them, the weight of his legs over my waist holding me down on the mattress, adding to my panic and my inability to breathe.  

‘Stop,’ I cried out and tried to hit him but he was stronger than me, I had no chance,’ stop, please nooooo stop!’

‘Scar!’ he yelled as he held my hands against his chest and brought his face closer to mine, forcing me to look into his eyes,’ it’s me, it’s Loki, please breathe, it’s me, I’m not going to hurt you’

I closed my eyes as I rolled my head to the side to avoid having to look at him.

 ‘I’m not going to hurt you,’ he repeated, softer this time,’ look at me Scar, please’  

He pulled me up onto his lap and in his arms and I finally managed to block the disturbing images from my head, looking at him I could see those green soft eyes and pale face again and I let out a breath of relief.  
 ‘Loki’ I whispered.  

He held me close and caressed my back and my hair as he whispered soothing words into my ear.  

‘You’re safe, I would never hurt you, or let anyone else hurt you,’ he whispered and he kissed my forehead in between talking,’ you’re safe now’  

I let the tears fall as I leaned into his hug and clung to him.  
 ‘I’m sorry’ he whispered, still rocking me in his arms.

  I don’t remember how long we sat like that but he took his time to calm me down until my heart stopped racing and I was breathing regularly again.  

‘I’m sorry,’ he kept repeating softly,’ I’m sorry’

  ‘No,’ I insisted,’ please, you did nothing wrong, I just…haven’t been with anyone since…physical contact is…difficult, when I’m not in control I just…that feeling of being helpless comes back and…it takes me back to that night…I’m sorry, it is nothing to do with you’

  ‘I shouldn’t have kissed you’ he shook his head.  
 ‘Don’t say that, it is nothing you did Loki…that kiss was the best kiss I’ve ever had’ I said, biting my lip when I noticed the surprised look on his face.

  I looked at his perfect cheekbones and those thin lips that just a few moments ago made me forget about everything else and all I wanted was to feel them on me again.

  ‘I want to try again’ I decided.   
‘No Scar!’ 

‘Please,’ I begged him,’ I need to…please’  
 ‘No,’ he insisted,’ you can just stay in my arms like this, we don’t need to do…anything’

I stared at his worried face and the hint of tears in his eyes and realized he actually meant it.    
But so did I…  I leaned in and put my lips on his, trying to stop his protest and it seemed to work. 

He was responsive right away, kissing me back and pulling me even closer to him.   
‘I want this,’ I whispered,’ please Loki, I want you’

‘Do you want to be on top?’ he asked,’ will that make you feel more in control? Safer?’   
I smiled at his concern but shook my head.    
‘No, I need to overcome this,’ I said,’ please help me, I trust you’

He took my face between his hands and gave me another soft kiss on the lips.  
 ‘If at any time you want to stop we stop, alright?’ he said. I nodded my head and laid back down on the bed, carefully pulling him on top of me.  

He started kissing my neck slowly, keeping his eyes on mine as much as he could. 

When I moaned softly his hand sank down to my waist and lower to my inner thighs as he pushed my legs apart, placing himself in between them.   I gasped at the feel of his growing erection against my center.   
‘Keep your eyes on me,’ he whispered as he carefully pulled down my jeans,’ tell me if I go too fast’

As I was lying half naked underneath him and I could feel his breath on my neck again I couldn’t wait for him to go faster and I opened up the zipper of his pants, encouraging him to take it off.  I could see him hiss through his teeth as he got rid of his pants, he pulled the blanket over us both as his naked body sank down on me.

  ‘Is this alright?’ he whispered, lowering himself onto me and pulling my legs around his waist, his hardness was pushing in between my folds and I felt him holding back, scared to make the move I knew we both wanted to make.    
‘Yes,’ I moaned,’ please’

I pushed my hips off the bed to encourage him.    
‘I’m ready…please don’t hold back’ I begged him.  

He was biting his lip as he took his hard erection into his hand and guided it into my wetness, holding his breath as he pushed in slowly.  My head fell back into the pillow at the sensation of him filling me up inch by inch and I let out a deep moan.  

‘Am I hurting you?’ he asked worried,’ I can stop’  
‘No!’ I looked up and put my hands into his hair as our eyes locked. 

‘Don’t stop,’ I whispered as I rolled my hips,’ please don’t stop’

He kissed my lips again, his breath heavy in his throat as he started thrusting slowly, his eyes falling back into his head before looking at me again with that dreamy look in his eyes.     
The friction was pushing me towards my release very quickly, he was hitting me in all the right spots.   He fastened his thrusts, pushing me deeper into the mattress with every one, his face against my neck as our moans filled the quiet space. 

 I could see his desire build on his face as he bit down hard on his lip in between moaning my name and pushing his face against mine, trying desperately to keep his eyes on me.   The way he looked at me with those lust filled eyes while he was thrusting into me made me forget everything else. I could let go, I was able to let him take control and nothing bad happened.   
Every bit of panic I had felt earlier was gone, the contact no longer scary but a necessity now, I needed to feel him this close, all over and inside of me, holding me down as we melted into each other. 

  I clung to his back and bit his shoulder as he was starting to lose control too, his pace frantic and his moans even louder, he was close.  I could feel my walls starting to clench around him as my orgasm took over and my scream filled the room, taking him with me.  

He gave a few final thrusts and a loud groin before he pulled out of me and spilled all over my inner thigh. I smiled at the feeling of his hot seed on my cold skin and found him looking back at me with the happiest grin I had ever seen on his face.

  ‘Scar’ he whispered as he sank down next to me, pulling me in his arms and kissing my forehead.  

‘That was perfect,’ I smiled as I let my hand run over his naked chest and looked up to meet his eyes, a little sweat covering his face,’ you are perfect’

 ‘I’m afraid that’s a big lie’ he said in a little sigh as he leaned in to kiss me again. I opened my mouth to meet his tongue with mine, trying to prove to him in a kiss how much I meant every word and nothing he could say would convince me of anything else. 

He was perfect to me…  I could feel him pulling me close to him as we kept kissing for a while, until we both needed to come up for air.

’I want nothing more than to stay in bed with you right now but I do need the bathroom for a second’ I said as I crawled up from the mattress.

I stepped into the little room next to the bedroom, not surprised to find it almost completely empty, as the rest of the apartment, thank god he at least had some towels.  After cleaning myself up I looked into the mirror, my cheeks were flushed and I could swear my face was glowing and my eyes were sparkling.  

What the hell?! What was I doing? Was this even really happening? 

 I knew this feeling was a mixture of the blackout, the white Christmas and this mysterious but perfect man that found his way into my life.  It made this whole night feel like a very surreal dream, one I never wanted to wake up from.  

I rushed back to the bedroom to find him standing by the window, wearing nothing but his black jeans. I pulled his sweater from the ground and put it back on before I joined him, I put my hands on his shoulders and started kissing his shoulder blades.  

He didn’t say anything but I could feel him leaning into me and I heard his quiet moans of approval every time my lips touched his cold skin.  

‘Please keep doing that’ he then spoke softly, encouraging me to keep putting kisses all over his back, shoulders and arm until he pulled me in front of him and put his arms around my waist.    
We stood like that for a few moments just leaning into each other. His touch was mesmerizing, sensually wonderful and so incredibly addictive. I already couldn’t imagine having to miss it…or him. 

  ‘Look,’ he then said, nudging his head towards the street,’ the electricity is back on’

I could see lights in the houses across the street and the tv was playing in the apartment right in front of us, not only was there light coming from inside the buildings but the sun was also starting to come up, Christmas eve had come and gone, it was over.  

But I didn’t want it to be over…


	4. Chapter 4

He pulled me close to him and once again I could feel myself melt, his lips found mine in a slow deep kiss and I wanted nothing more than to lose myself in him again.  

He held me in his arms for some time after, neither of us saying another word but just lingering in each others touch, enjoying the silence of the room and the snow falling outside as the sun was coming up.  

‘You can go home now’ he then spoke softly.

‘What if I don’t want to?’ I sighed, putting a little smile on his face as he leaned his head against mine.  
  ‘Your friend is probably worried’ he then answered.

 ‘I’m still locked out of my apartment’ I said.    
‘I have a feeling your door will be open by now’ he smiled.  

‘You can just tell me if you want me gone, you know’ I then said as I pulled back from him but he had his arms around my waist quicker than I could step away, pulling me against his chest.  
  ‘The last thing I want is to see you gone Scar’ he said softly, shutting me up by putting his mouth on mine again.  I smiled into his kiss.  

‘If I could I would keep you here forever,’ he then said,’ just us two locked away from the rest of the world’  

I stared into his eyes, seeing the same sadness there that was falling over me.  We both knew that was not an option.  

‘You have to go on living,’ he then said,’ and I have to go on hiding’   
The look on his face had turned serious.  

‘What do you mean by that Loki?’ I asked, grabbing his chest and staring into his eyes,’ who are you running from? The police?’

‘Worse’ he sighed, the way he spoke that word gave me chills.

  ‘It’s not something I want you to worry about, alright,’ he then spoke as he took my hands,’ it’s my burden, and I deserve to carry it’

I squeezed his hands and shook my head.    
‘You should go see your friend now’ he insisted. 

I let go of him and walked back to the bed, grabbing my clothes from the floor and putting them back on, I could feel his eyes on me the entire time.  

When I was fully dressed he stepped closer to me and put his arms around me, I didn’t hesitate to hug him back.

 ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered,’ please don’t think…this night meant more to me than you will ever know’

 ‘Are you saying goodbye to me now?’ I asked surprised, feeling the tears sting in the back of my eyes.  

He let his thumb run over my cheek to rest on my lips and leaned in to put a soft kiss on my mouth. I closed my eyes and the tears fell.

  ‘Fine…I’m going to leave now, but when I come back…,’ I said in a shaky voice,’ please promise me you will still be here’  

He shook his head and looked away.  
 ‘Promise me’ I asked again.

 ‘I can not make that promise Scar…but I will always be around to watch over you’ he then said softly, I could see tears in his eyes too now as he kissed me one last time, taking my face between his hands and deepening the kiss before he took a few steps away from me, my heart sank at the loss of his touch and I remembered his words about not staying in the same place for too long.

‘Go now’ he whispered and he turned his back to me.  
  I took one last look before I left his apartment and saw him standing by the big window all alone, he suddenly looked so much smaller than he had before, a lonely man on the run and homesick for a place that he could never go back to.  

I wish he would tell me his story…

It took everything I had not to run back up to him and put my arms around him, instead I closed the door behind me knowing that when I came back here he would be long gone.

  ***

   I felt like I had just woken up from the most wonderful but weird dream as I made my way back to my apartment that morning.  Without thinking I took the handle of the door and to my surprise it opened with ease, bringing me back down to earth instantly. 

‘What the…?’

‘Scar!’   Leyla’s loud scream startled me and before I could react she had her arms around me in a tight hug.

 ‘Thank god woman, you scared me!’ she sighed in relief,’ I had no idea where you were and you left your phone in the apartment you dumb ass!’  

I smiled at her angry relief and broke the hug.  
 ‘Did you find my key too?’ I asked hesitantly.

  ‘It was on the kitchen counter and the door was open,’ she said,’ which is why I was worried sick, I know you never leave without locking up!’

‘I’m sorry,’ I stuttered,’ I…I locked myself out…I thought…I don’t know how the door was open…’

‘Are you alright?’ she asked, a worried look on her face and I realized I sounded more than a little confused.  

‘I’m fine,’ I said as I shook my head,’ I’m not sure what happened, I guess the blackout messed me up a bit…and I didn’t get a lot of sleep’

‘Where were you then?’ she asked.   
I took a deep breath before I answered her.    
‘I was with our neighbour,’ I then confessed,’ the mysterious one’

‘What?!’ the shock on her face almost made me laugh.

  ‘Relax,’ I urged her,’ he was really sweet and he took good care of me’  
I felt my heart swell up just thinking about him again.

  ‘Oh I bet he did!’ she then said, shaking her head in disbelief.   I bit my lip and looked away.  

‘Oh dear lord, I was joking but you’re not!’ she said shocked,’ You slept with him?! Oh please tell me you at least know his name!’  

‘I know his name,’ I said with a little smile,’ it’s Loki’  

My smile disappeared as soon as I saw the horror and shock on Leyla’s face and I watched her drop her knife to the floor.  

‘What did you say?’ she then asked, staring at me with such a serious expression on her face it scared me.  
  ‘His name is Loki’ I repeated.

  ‘Oh…my God!’ I had never seen Leyla in such panic as I watched her right now,’ I knew it! I fucking knew he looked familiar!’

She ran to the living room to grab her laptop from the table and started typing like a maniac.  

‘Shit, shit, shit’ she was cursing to herself as she stared at the screen and then she pointed the computer to me.

  ‘Loki,’ she repeated,’ that name did not ring a bell with you? His face did not look familiar at all?’

  ‘What are you talking about?’ I asked, I was starting to become impatient now and then I turned my head to see the computer  His gorgeous pale face with green eyes and little grin curled around his thin lips was staring at me on the screen.

  ‘That’s…’ I stuttered.   
‘That’s him right’ Leyla asked.    
‘Yes,’ I whispered,’ but…I don’t know…’

She let out a deep sigh.  
 ‘You really should watch the news more often,’ she sighed, typing in some more words before turning the screen to me again.  

My heart sank and my gut turned when I started reading…  Loki, God of mischief, brother of Thor, Asgardian, alien, all powerful, mass murderer, trickster, shape shifter, threat to humanity, liar, heartless killer,…  

All the words were becoming a blur and I had to let myself sink down on the couch to stop from falling.   This was impossible…he could not be all those things, how could he be all those things when to me he was the most gentle, patient and loving man I had ever met?   

This was wrong, it just didn’t add up. 

But it did…he confessed to me that he wasn’t a good man…he literally told me, and he told me his name anyway…  

‘No,’ I shook my head as I tried to deny how everything fitted and I felt the tears in my eyes again,’ no this can’t be!’

I could hear Leyla screaming my name after me as I ran through the door, I rushed to Loki’s apartment and banged on the door with my fists. 

‘Loki!’ I yelled,’ open the door, now! It’s Scar, open up!’

As I gave it another hit the door flew open and my heart almost stopped, it was empty…  

The apartment looked like it hadn’t been occupied in months, there were no curtains, no couch, no candles…no Loki. 

This wasn’t possible, I hadn’t been gone for more than 20 minutes.  I stepped inside and walked up to the bedroom but it was the same thing, completely empty.     
Am I losing my mind? Did I dream him? All of it? Was any of it even real? 

I was ready to let the tears flow at the sudden loss of everything that happened that night when I noticed something lying on the window sill, where I last saw Loki, or where I thought I last saw him anyway.    
Right now I wasn’t sure of anything anymore…  

When I stepped closer I noticed it was the black sweater, the one I wore all night, the one he gave to me.  I grabbed it and wrapped my arms around it as I brought it to my face, it had his smell all over it and my tears fell at the same time as the smile returned to my lips.  

It was real, he was real, I wasn’t crazy.   But then why was he gone?

  I stayed for several minutes longer but there was nothing here for me anymore, I wouldn’t find any answers here.   

As I left his apartment, clinging to his sweater as I carried it in my arms, I noticed movement in the corner of the hallway.

As I stepped closer the little kitten came out of the corner and walked up to me, it rubbed its little head against my leg as it mewed softly and looked up at me with those big sad eyes.

  ‘There you are,’ I spoke in a soft voice as I bowed down, determined not to let it get away this time,’ I thought I’d lost you’ 

As I reached out my hand it quickly put its paw in my palm and let me pick it up without any hesitation. The little thing was shivering in my hands and I put Loki’s sweater around it as I carried it back to my apartment, finding Leyla waiting for me by the door.

  ‘He’s gone’ I said quickly as I walked past her into our kitchen and ignored her judgmental look.

  ‘I see you’ve brought another guest though’ she said as she looked at me.   
‘Don’t worry, this one’s completely harmless’ I assured her.

 ‘That’s what you said about our neighbour too’ she said as she raised her eyebrow and closed the door behind us.

  ‘It is cute though,’ she admitted as she looked at the little kitten crawling against my chest,’ and he seems attached to you already, wait is it a he or a she?’

  ‘It’s a he apparently,’ I said as I quickly checked,’ I found him before the black out but he ran away then, I can’t think of anyone here who has a cat’

 ‘Me neither’ she said and she sighed,’ you’re gonna keep it aren’t you?’ 

‘I can’t send him out there in the snow if he doesn’t have a home’ I answered while I sat down at the kitchen counter and put Loki’s sweater and the kitten in front of me as I let out a deep sigh.  

My hand was still holding onto the sweater remembering how not even an hour ago I was in his arms and now…I didn’t even know if I would ever see him again.   

Just last night I didn’t even know this man, how could I miss someone so much so quickly?

  ‘If you’re keeping him you need to give it a name’ Leyla then said.  

‘Huh? Yeah…I guess,’ I sighed absently, staring down at the cute creature as it crawled into my lap and pushed its little head against my hands, purring softly as it looked up to me with the greenest eyes I had ever seen.

  ‘Loki,’ I then whispered,’ his name is Loki’


	5. Chapter 5

Christmas was a week ago now and I was sitting on the window sill in our apartment looking at the snow outside and the little kitten sitting before me, its paws on my leg.

  I let out a heavy sigh as I stared into those green eyes, staring back at me with this judgmental look, I could just see it thinking ‘you’re losing your shit human, I am nothing but a silly little cat, stop looking at me like that’

I hid my face in my hands and shook my head as I let out a frustrated scream, I didn’t want to believe it but those two words I read were stuck in my head…shifter…shape shifter…

I looked up when Leyla walked in.

  ‘Hey’ I said.  
 ‘You know you’re obsessed with that cat?’ she said as she raised her eyebrow.  
‘I know’ I sighed as I petted little Loki’s head softly, hearing him purr against my hand. 

Leyla walked up to me and I could see her looking at me with the question burning in her eyes. 

 ‘What?’ I asked.   
‘You think the cat is Loki don’t you?’ she then asked.    
‘Noooo, only a crazy person would think THAT!’ I said as I looked up at her and gave her a serious look,’ it’s crazy right?’

 She sat down in front of me on the window sill, little Loki in between us.    
‘An alien murderer has been hiding out in our building for months,’ she then said,’ and you, who haven’t let any man near you for the past 4 years, spent the night with him. Crazy is rather relative these days…’

I smiled as Loki crawled on my lap.

‘This cat has his eyes,’I then said with a sigh,’ it’s attached to me, I can feel it…it snuggles up to me every night’

 ‘That still doesn’t prove anything except that it’s a needy kitten’ she said.

‘He told me he’d always be around to watch over me’ I then said, hearing the crack in my voice. 

‘He’s a killer and a liar Scar, he would have said anything you wanted to hear’ she sighed.

Suddenly the kitten growled at her and hissed between his little teeth.  I couldn’t help but smile and she shook her head in disbelief.  
 ‘Well fuck me’ she sighed.  
  ‘Loki doesn’t like you very much’ I said as I took him in my arms.

  ‘Okay,’ she admitted,’ so…what if it’s true? What if this cute little thing actually is a killer alien God? Why would he do this?’

‘I don’t know,’ I sighed,’ all I know is he was hiding, on the run and he was going to leave again soon’

‘Because someone was after him?’ she asked.    
‘Yes, but he didn’t give me anymore details Leyla’ I said. 

‘Maybe whoever was after him was close and he knew it was time to move on,’ Leyla said, I could see her thinking,’ maybe they were here and he thought it be safer to just…shift into something else to escape them?’

 ‘Then why is he sticking around here? And why is’t he changing back?’ I asked.  
  ‘Maybe he can’t, maybe his powers are gone’ she said.   
‘Then how did he shift in the first place?’ 

‘Maybe…he lost his powers after that happened,’ she said,’ maybe shifting was a last resort, a desperate attempt to get away but now he’s stuck, so he did the smartest thing he could do…he came to you because he knew you would keep him safe…like he kept you safe’

I stared at the little kitten as it sat still in my arms.

  ‘This is all too much science fiction for me Leyla’ I sighed as I stood up and put the kitten down.

  ‘I know,’ she said,’ I’m sorry, look, tonight is new year’s eve, why don’t we leave little Loki alone for one night? Charlotte has invited us both to her party, please come with me’

‘I don’t feel like a party, or a crowd’ I sighed.

 ‘Well that’s tough cause you’re coming,’ she insisted,’ I am not letting you spend new year’s eve alone with a cat, you’re too young to become a crazy cat lady’

I gave her a weak smile and nodded my head, maybe she was right, I had been locked up here since Christmas, barely leaving the house, maybe going out would do me good, help me see some perspective.

  ‘Fine’ I agreed.

***

  I wasn’t jumping up and down about the party, not even when Leyla lend me her best little black dress and helped me put up my hair.  Physically I may have looked the part but mentally I still hated to get out there and be surrounded by people, another little consequence of my nightmare Christmas eve 4 years ago, before that crowds and parties didn’t scare me, I used to go out every Saturday night, I lived for it.   
The more the merrier, I loved the interaction and the high a good party with great music could give you.  

Now I was jumpy every time someone invaded my space, or when the music was too loud all of a sudden, not even mentioning when a guy put his hands on me without warning.   Parties became a struggle so I had just stopped going.   
It wasn’t a big deal, we didn’t have the money to go often anyway, but this one was free and it was new year’s eve, I couldn’t blame Leyla for insisting I would go with her. 

But after a few hours I just couldn’t muster up another fake smile so I slipped away, leaving Leyla a small text to let her know and to thank her for the trouble and the invite, but I didn’t want to be surrounded by a group of strangers when the clock hit midnight.  

The only person I wanted to be with wasn’t here anymore, not in the way I wanted him anyway…

I opened the door to our apartment with a heavy sigh and closed it behind me, took off my snow covered shoes and jacket and turned on the lights to find the room completely empty.    
Whenever I stepped into a room little Loki would normally come running to me but now there was nothing.

  ‘Where are you kitty?’ I muttered to myself as I stepped into the living room and noticed my bedroom door wasn’t completely closed.

‘Loki?’ I tried to call out to him and opened the door,’ Loki?’

‘Yes’

His deep warm voice almost stopped my heart and as I entered the bedroom I found him standing by my window.   I had forgotten how tall he was, covered in those tight black pants and a dark green sweater, his pale face staring back at me with a little smile forming on those thin lips. 

‘Loki’ I repeated, my voice was barely more than a whisper.  

‘Hello Scar…thank you for taking care of me’ he then spoke.

 ‘You’re…welcome,’ I stuttered,’ I…didn’t think I would see you again’

  I seemed to be stuck to the floor, as much as I would love to run into his arms I couldn’t will myself to move, scared that if I did this would turn out to be nothing but a dream and he wouldn’t really be here.

  ‘What happened?’ I asked hesitantly.  
  ‘I had to go back into hiding’ he explained, like it was nothing.  
 ‘That’s…how you hide?’ I asked.  

‘Sometimes,’ he said and he gave me a little smile,’ I was wondering how long it would take you to figure it out’    
‘I didn’t, my roommate did,’ I confessed,’ I had no idea who you were’  

He looked at me again and then took a few steps towards me, still keeping his distance.   
‘But you do now?’ he asked.  

His deep voice still gave me chills and I nodded my head.    
‘Yes’

‘Does it frighten you?’ he then asked, his voice softer now,’ Do I…frighten you?’ 

His eyes stayed locked with mine.    
‘No’ I confessed, closing the distance between us by taking a few steps forward and looking deep into those green eyes.  

‘I was hoping you’d come back for me’ I then said putting my hands on his waist. His arms took me in immediately, pulling me close to him as he kissed my forehead.  

‘I would have come sooner’ he spoke softly.  
 ‘Why didn’t you?’ I asked.    
He leaned back from our hug to look at me.

  ‘They’re onto me Scar,’ he then spoke,’ every time I use my powers…I put myself on their map, I don’t know much about Midgardian technology but what they have is powerful’  
  ‘More powerful than you?’ I asked.

  ‘I’m just a man’ he answered in a sigh.   
‘That’s not what I’ve read’ I said.    
He stayed quiet.  

‘I didn’t want to put you in any danger,’ he then said as he leaned his head against mine,’ it’s why I can’t stay here’

  ‘That’s why you didn’t change back is it?’ I asked,’ because if you used your powers they’d be able to locate you? Have I got that right?’ 

He nodded his head.    
‘Then why did you change now?’ I asked surprised.

‘Because I could no longer be with you and not be able to do this’ he whispered and he took my face between his hands and put his lips on mine, his kiss was slow but needy and just like that first kiss it made me forget about everything else for a while.

I put my arms around his neck and kissed him back, clinging to him when he broke the kiss after several minutes to allow us both to catch our breath. 

‘Can you at least stay for a little while?’ I begged him,’ watch the fireworks with me?’

  ‘I would love that’ he smiled as he pulled me against his chest. I could hear him let out a long heavy sigh and his fingers tangled into my hair as he held me.

  I couldn’t have imagined a better place to end my year than right here in his arms.

 His hands slowly sank down to my back and then he took my hands and walked us over to the window sill.  He sat down and pulled me in front of him so I was sitting between his long legs, my back turned to him while his arm snaked around my waist and pulled me closer, I leaned back against his chest and rested my head on his shoulder.  

‘Is this okay?’ he whispered into my ear. 

‘More than okay’ I said with a little smile and we both looked up to the sky as the first fireworks started to go off outside, lighting up the sky in all sorts of shiny bright colors.  

We watched in silence for some time, I was mesmerized by the beautiful sight in front of us and the feeling of his arms around me and his breath on my neck.  
  I believe this would qualify as what you call a perfect moment, there hadn’t been many like that in my life the past years and he had given me several in one night.  

Whoever, whatever he was, right now it was just me and him and none of that mattered.  

‘Happy new year’ he smiled as he placed a few soft kisses on my neck and collar bone, putting both his arms around me while he pulled me close against his chest and nuzzled his face against my neck.   I closed my eyes and let out a happy sigh.

  ‘Happy new year Loki’ I then whispered.

He was clinging to me and my heart broke when I realized why.  

‘You have to go now?’ I asked.   
‘Yes’ he spoke softly.

  I broke from his hug and turned around so I could see his face, the sad and defeated look in his eyes almost made me regret that decision.  This would be easier of I didn’t have to look at him…

I shook my head in protest but he just brushed my cheek with his thumb and looked down in a heavy sigh.

 The sound of exploding fireworks just outside our window were the only thing breaking this heavy silence between us.

He stood up and I looked away but he lifted my chin with his two fingers to force me to look into his eyes.

‘Don’t be sad, Scar,’ he then said, a little smile on his lips’ you will see me again’  
‘When?’ I asked even before he spoke the last word.

  ‘I don’t know’ he admitted as he backed away from me.

There was nothing left for me to do but watch him leave as he walked up to the door of my bedroom, ready to walk out of my life when I had just met him, how was any of this fair?

‘Loki!’ I yelled.  

The panic in my own voice surprised me and he turned his head immediately and looked at me with the same sad expression that was on my face.   The thought of him walking out on me again was too much for me to bear, there was no way I could just let him go.

‘If you can’t stay,’ I then spoke softly as I looked up into his green sad eyes,’then take me with you’ 


	6. Chapter 6

‘Not a chance’ he said immediately, turning away from me.  

‘Why the fuck not?’ I spat out, unable to hide my anger.    
How could he just come into my life to make everything all better and then just disappear on me again? I could and would not let that happen twice.  

‘Because it is too dangerous,’ he answered firmly, he hadn’t moved from his spot by the door but at least he was looking at me again,’ I can and will not put your life at risk Scar’

‘But it’s my life and my choice’ I answered.

‘NO!’ he insisted, making me step back when I saw the determination on his face,’ you don’t know what you’re dealing with! If they come after me…I can not protect you. Do you think they care about one innocent life?! I will not have you become collateral damage, you are staying here where you are safe! Trust me, you do not want this’

‘But I want you’ I pouted.

  I could see the look on his face soften, there was a little hint of a smile that quickly changed when his eyes turned sad again.  

‘You do not know me enough to want that’ he then spoke softly.

  I stepped closer until I was standing right in front of him.  
 ‘I know that I want to be with you’ I said, I could see his resolve weaken now that I was this close to him.  

His hand reached out to mine and I didn’t give him any chance to hesitate, I leaned closer and put my lips on his in a soft kiss. His arms embraced me and pulled me deeper into the kiss, opening up my mouth with his as he hungrily kissed me back and held me against his chest.

  ‘Just stay’ I begged him, my hands were searching their way under his sweater, I ran them over his naked back and felt him shiver at the contact of my warm hands on his ice cold skin.    
‘I can’t…’ he breathed in between kissing me, I heard his voice but his hands and lips were still all over me, not making any attempt to stop what he was doing.  

‘Stay with me’ I repeated, sinking my nails into the skin of his shoulders when I felt him pull back. He broke the kiss and took a step back as he put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me away from him.  

‘No please Scar,’ he sighed,’ you don’t know what you’re doing’

I looked away from him, trying to hide the sting of pain I felt at his rejection and biting back my tears.  

Maybe he just didn’t want me enough… 

I couldn’t make him stay if he really didn’t want to, there was nothing more I could do.

  ‘Alright,’ I sighed,’ go then’

The look on his face was one of surprise mixed with a hint of disappointment.

  ‘Go if you so desperately want to get away from me,’ I insisted,’ I won’t stop you, it’s fine’

I stared into his eyes but instead of seeing him walk away from me he was right in front of me again in an instant, his hand in my neck and his forehead resting against mine and before I could say anything else he was kissing me again, more desperate than before. 

When my hands lifted up his sweater he didn’t protest but helped me lift it over his head.

  ‘I don’t want to get away from you’ he then whispered as he guided me towards the bed, my hands on his bare chest and his eyes piercing mine.   He took his time to help me out of my dress, every movement slow and gentle, allowing himself the chance to take in every inch of my body with his burning eyes, making my need for him grow quickly. 

I returned the favor and helped him lose his pants, when every piece of clothing was on the floor he crawled onto the bed and reached out his hand to me, pulling me close to him and giving me a surprised smile when instead of sitting next to him I straddled him and put my legs over his lap.  

His fingers were quickly exploring every bit of skin he could reach while his lips were putting soft kisses on my neck and shoulder, I managed to hold back my moans until his tongue was on my breasts and I had no choice but to express the pleasure he was giving me. 

His hands sank down to rest on my ass and he gently pushed me down onto his lap, his erection now pressing into my thigh, this time he was the one doing all the moaning as I guided him to where he needed to be.    
My wetness welcomed him while I breathed out his name, his hips thrusting off the bed as he pushed in all the way and he clung to me with his entire body, his heavy breaths against my neck were turning me on more with every whimper and moan and I knew it wouldn’t take long.  

He slowed his thrusts for a few moments to kiss me again and then rested his eyes on mine as he gradually took up the pace. 

 Every move he made felt so right, as if he was inside my head and knew exactly which spot to hit to send me into oblivion.   I buried my head against his neck and bit my lip, I was so close I wanted to scream.

  ‘Loki’ I moaned, rolling my hips to create more friction and again he seemed to instantly know what to do as his fingers sank down to meet that throbbing little spot that just needed a little more convincing, one last push.  

My scream filled the bedroom and was quickly followed by a growly moan from his mouth as his climax took over, he was thrusting almost violently until I felt him shudder and he sank down into my arms with a few more loud moans.  

We clung to each other, desperate for even more contact though we couldn’t possibly get any closer than we had just been, the thought of having to let him go was still too painful, I would hold him in my arms for a long as I could.  

Not a word was said when he pulled up the covers over the both of us, took me back into his arms and hugged me tight against his chest.   
 His hand stroking my hair and the soft kisses he kept putting all over my forehead calmed me down, the panic of losing him slowly faded and I could feel myself drifting off, I was completely at peace in his arms, a feeling that had been unfamiliar to me the past years.  

And then I did the worst thing I could have done…I fell asleep…and the moment I woke up I knew he was gone.

***  

And even though time had stopped for a moment for me, life just went on like it always had, I slowly got back into my work routine, drowning myself in work during the day and in movies during the night, doing my best to forget.  

After a few weeks it was starting to feel like it had all been nothing but a weird dream, a small Christmas miracle that I had dreamed up to help myself get through the holidays.   
  If it wasn’t for Loki’s sweater that I still kept in my bed there would be nothing left to prove it actually really happened.   This time he was really gone, no Loki and no kitten…

  It was the last weekend of January before I realized it, and when I walked home from work that day I was greeted by cold soft snowflakes on my skin, by the time I got home the ground was already covered in white.   It hadn’t snowed since new years day and I couldn’t help but think of Loki today.  

As I settled on the couch that night with a box of leftover Chinese I opened my laptop and checked out my usual news sites.  I never cared for the news during the past year but lately I had been doing my best to keep up with everything related to the Avengers, especially Thor and their search for Loki.  

 I just needed to know where he was, if he was captured or hurt…if I never was to see him again I at least wanted to know that he was okay, but his name hadn’t been mentioned in the news for weeks, until today that is…

  I thought my eyes were deceiving me when I first read the article, it was only a few lines in small print, easy to overlook and all it said was “possible Loki sighting in Toronto”.

I clicked the link but there wasn’t much more information there: 2 people had claimed they noticed a man hanging around their apartment who resembled the God of mischief and acted suspicious, there were no more details and since there had been over 300 false alarm sightings over the past months the witnesses weren’t considered very credible and the whole thing was dismissed without further investigation.     
The article asked the public to still be on the lookout if they noticed anything suspicious but also urged people not to call in for any pale dark haired mysterious stranger.   
I couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle.

  ‘Toronto’ I whispered. 

I wanted to dismiss the article as easily as Shield did but I couldn’t, maybe I just wanted to hold onto that last little string of hope, or maybe the idea that two people saw him made me believe this was not just another false alarm and he was actually there.  I jumped when the door opened and Leyla walked in.  

‘Hey, you’re home early’ she said, putting away her bag and closing the door before she sank down on the couch next to me with a heavy sigh as she pulled up her legs and leaned her head on her knee.

 ‘Rough day?’ I asked.   
‘I thought this shift would never end’ she said and I noticed by the dark lines under her eyes and her pale skin that she wasn’t exaggerating.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked.

She looked at me for a few seconds before she shook her head.  
 ‘Not really Scar,’ she then confessed,’ I think we need to talk…’ I closed the computer and turned to her.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ I asked surprised.  
  ‘Don’t you ever think that it was all a mistake?’ she then asked,’ Us moving to New York, working our asses off for little to no money? It’s been 3 years now and nothing has gotten any better for us’  
 ‘I know things have been difficult’ I admitted.

‘It’s more than difficult Scar,’ she sighed and her eyes found mine,’ I think…I want to move back to London. I didn’t want to tell you earlier because this was our thing and we had planned it for so long but…the only reason I have stayed this long is for you…and I can’t do it anymore Scar, I’m sorry’ 

I nodded my head. 

It wasn’t a complete surprise, I hadn’t been blind to the fact that all she did for the past months was work and sleep, she was exhausted, physically and mentally, nobody could keep that up forever.   
And I couldn't say the thought hadn’t crossed my mind either, I still missed home every day, though right now there was something else, someone else, that I missed even more.  

‘I’m sorry,’ she said, avoiding to look at me,’ I don’t want to force you into anything…I’ve been saving some money to pay for a flight, I can pay for us both or I can hold out until you find a new roommate, whatever you want’

I looked at her and shook my head in a little smile, if I had been waiting for a sign to let me know what to do I guess this was it.  

‘I’m so sorry’ she apologized again.

 ‘It’s alright Leyla,’ I said with a sigh,’ you’re right, you’re absolutely right, this isn’t working out’

  ‘So you’re coming back to London with me?’ she asked with a hint of hope in her voice and a little smile appearing on her face. 

‘Maybe’ I said as I looked back at her.  
  ‘Maybe?’ she asked surprised.  

‘I have one other stop to make before I can go to London,’ I then said, unable to hide my smile now that I’ve made up my mind. 

 It was crazy, but then everything about him and me had been crazy.

‘Where?’ she asked curious.  

‘Toronto’

   


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last part, I know I could continue the story of Loki and Scar for a lot longer if I really wanted to but I feel this is how it should end. Considering this was supposed to be a Christmas one shot, I think it’s about time I finished it!

I had been walking the streets of Toronto for over a week now, I would love to say it was a beautiful city and I’m sure that in reality it was, but its beauty was lost on me, I only had eyes for what was not there…Loki.  

It had been snowing since I got here and even my warm long coat, thick scarf and woolen gloves were not enough to keep me warm as I passed by the same building for the fourth time today, the building that was mentioned in the article I read online.   
He was supposed to be here… 

As I sat down on a bench across the street I was beginning to think coming here was the worst idea ever, there was no sign of Loki and even if he had been here he probably moved on long time ago, if word was out that he had been spotted he wouldn’t take the risk and stay here.    
My hands were freezing and I could feel the cold of the snow though my boots, I should just go back to my hotel room and warm up, this was useless, I was wasting my time, why on earth did I come here in the first place?   I should have known this was a ridiculous long shot to begin with.

I shouldn’t have allowed myself to hope, the disappointment now only hurt more.   It was all over, Loki and my life in America, it was time to go home, to my real home, and leave this all behind me.     
Tears sprung to my eyes and I let out a deep sigh as I realized…this was it, I wasn’t going to find him, he was gone.  I would never see his pale sweet face and those gorgeous green eyes again.

I cursed myself for letting my tears fall so easily and I tried to shake it off.  

Stop being a baby Scar, stand up, go to the hotel, pack your bags and get on that plane home, back to London.  I felt a little smile creep through my tears as I thought about London.   
Maybe things would be better once I was there…  

I took a deep sigh and got up from the bench when I felt something brush against my leg.  

My heart almost stopped when I heard the little purr and I looked down to see the black kitten looking up at me with those green eyes.   

‘Oh my…,’ I gasped,’Loki!’  I covered my mouth in shock when I realized screaming his name probably wasn’t the best idea.  

I bend down and took off my gloves to pet the kitten on the head, soon it was purring louder and licking my hand.  
 ‘I’ve missed you too,’ I whispered in a teary smile and I took him in my arms and looked down into those big pleading eyes. 

Little Loki meowed softly and pushed his head up against my hand before he jumped out of my arms and started walking away from me, his head turned around to look back at me as he waited for me to follow.

 ‘Alright’ I said as I followed him across the street and into the building.   The kitten ran through the doorway in front of me and up the stairs, the little thing was so fast I had trouble keeping up. 

‘Wait for me’ my breath was stuck in my throat when suddenly the kitten was gone and there he was, standing at the top of the stairs right in front of me,’Loki…’

 He was wearing all black again and his long black hair was pulled back into a pony tail, he had his arms crossed in front of his chest as he gave me an angry look.   
‘Loki’ I whispered.  

‘Step inside’ he spoke while he opened the door next to him.   I walked past him into the apartment, surprised to find an actual apartment with furniture and a kitchen.   
But he didn’t leave me a lot of time to look around before he shut the door behind us with a loud bang.

‘What are you doing?’ he asked, his voice still sounded cold and a little angry and he made no attempt to come closer to me and tried his best not to look at me directly. 

‘I was looking for you,’ I said as I shook my head,’ isn’t that obvious?’  
 ‘Did you not hear what I told you last time?!’ he sighed, definitely angry now.

‘I know, okay, but things have changed,’ I sighed,’ I can’t stay in New York any longer…and I…I needed to know if you were okay’

When his eyes finally found mine I could see his expression soften.

‘You’re a stupid girl Scar,’ he then said as he shook his head, but while he spoke he took a few steps closer to me,’ such a stupid girl’

His arms were around me before I could react, pulling me against his chest in a tight hug as he buried his head against my hair and breathed me in.  
I let out a relieved smile and held him close.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I whispered,’ I know what you said but I had to see you, I thought I was too late, I thought you were gone forever’   
My voice was starting to shake and he pulled back from our hug to look at me and took my face between his hands as he leaned his forehead against mine.

‘My beautiful Scar,’ he then whispered,’ you have no idea how happy I am to see you…but I care too much for you to keep you with me, it is not safe’

‘Safe?’ I shook my head,’ I am not safe anywhere Loki, I wasn’t even safe in my own house for God’s sake! Don’t you get it? It’s not about where I am, it’s about who I’m with’

He stayed quiet as his eyes locked with mine, his arms still around my waist. 

‘I haven’t felt safe anywhere for a very long time until I met you,’ I continued,’ and when I’m in your arms…I know I am safe…it’s you Loki, you’re my safe haven’

I could see his eyes were watery as he stared back at me and pulled me closer.

 ‘And you are mine’ he then whispered before he put his lips on mine in a soft kiss.   My tears fell as I kissed him back and put my arms around his neck.

 ‘Then please let me stay with you’ I asked again.   He nodded his head and gave me that happy little smile I had missed so much.  

‘I would like nothing more,’ he spoke but then the smile disappeared,’ but I can’t stay here now that I’ve used my powers again’   
‘Then let’s leave, together’ I said without giving it a second thought.

 ‘Are you sure?’ he asked softly.  
  ‘Loki,’ I sighed and I stared deep into his eyes,’ I just want to be where you are, it doesn’t matter where…unless you don’t want me to…’

‘I want you’ he said quickly, there was the smile again.

My heart made a little jump and I clung to his shoulders, his lips found mine in another kiss, not so soft this time but filled with intensity.   
When his tongue met mine his hands made their way under my coat and pulled it from me, together with my scarf and my sweater, he took the last bit of cold from me with his heated kisses.   
His hands made their way up my back to rest in my neck and he leaned his head against mine while we both tried to catch our breath.

‘When do we need to leave?’ I then asked.   
‘Preferably two minutes ago’ he said as he bit his lip.  
 ‘Where to?’ I asked.  
  ‘I don’t know,’ he sighed,’ I hadn’t picked a new place yet’

I nodded my head and let go of him as I tried to think of where we could go, when suddenly it hit me, it was staring me in the face and suddenly everything about it felt right.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t go with you,’ I then spoke, seeing the disappointed shock on his face,’ maybe you should just come with me…to London’

  ‘London?’ he asked surprised.  
  ‘If you want’ I added hesitantly.

  ‘If London is where you will be,’ he then said with a smile as he grabbed my hands and pulled me closer to him again,’ then that’s where I’ll go’

I couldn’t hide the big happy smile on my face.  
  ‘One thing though’ I then said.  
 ‘Anything you want’ he whispered as his hands squeezed mine softly.

  ‘You can’t use your powers anymore,’ I said and his face turned serious,’ we can’t risk them tracking you down, if you go with me then you need to stay off their radar completely’   
He stayed quiet for a few moments but then nodded his head.  

‘I believe you are right,’ he said softly,’ it would be like…a new start’  
 ‘For both of us’ I smiled.  

‘But I can not travel like this,’ he then sighed,’ how do I change my appearance if I can’t use my powers?’  

I let out a little chuckle.  
 ‘We humans are pretty good at disguising and reinventing ourselves too you know,’ I said,’ leave it to me, give me an hour. Wait, do we still have an hour?’  
 ‘Do we have a choice?’ he asked.

‘Alright,’ I said in a sigh,’ I’ll hurry, but there’s one other problem…you need a passport’

‘Leave that to me’ he said with a little mischievous smile.  

It took me about 40 minutes to get everything I needed, having lurked around the area for the past week I knew exactly where to find the shops I needed to find Loki new clothes and a new color for his hair and eyes. 

Another 15 minutes later I was waiting in the apartment when the bathroom door opened. I expected him to come out but there was no movement in the doorway. 

‘Loki?’ I asked,’ can I come in?’  
‘Yes’

His voice sounded quiet and a little insecure, I had no idea what to expect when I walked in there but I wasn’t expecting the man that was looking back at me.

‘Holy…crap’ my voice was stuck in my throat.   The long black hair was gone and replaced by something short, blond and surprisingly very curly.  He was wearing a dark blue tight pants with a white shirt tucked into his pants, his sleeves rolled up and a few buttons popped showing off his long slender neck and a bit of his pale chest.  When my eyes reached his face again I was greeted by the bluest pair of eyes I had ever seen. 

‘Oh my god Loki!’ I covered my mouth in shock, I couldn’t stop staring at him, he couldn’t possibly look more different than before but he was still just as gorgeous.

‘I know,’ he sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror and plucked at his curly hair,’ I look ridiculous’ 

‘You look hot,’ I smiled as I put my arms around his neck and carefully let my hands run through those short curls,’ it’s perfect’  
 I leaned in to put my lips on his and he wrapped his arms around me as he kissed me back.

‘It’s temporary, okay,’ I then said,’ if you really don’t like it you can go back to black once we’re settled in London’

  I rested my forehead against his and kissed his soft lips again.  
 ‘Maybe I should keep it,’ he smiled,’ since you seem to like it so much’

‘It doesn’t matter to me what color your hair is or what you wear,’ I said softly,’ you’re still my Loki’ 

‘Actually,’ he said as he grabbed something from his pocket and showed it to me,’ I’m your Tom now’

I looked at the passport in his hands showing a picture of him with his blond hair and blue eyes and a fake name.    
‘Tom Hiddleston,’ I read,’ that does sound very British, good choice’

He smiled and pulled me into a hug, nudging his face into my hair.  
 ‘We should leave,’ he then whispered into my ear,’ really soon’ 

His hands were running up my spine under my top, making me shiver as his lips placed soft kisses on my neck and he pushed his body against mine.  I closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh as I leaned into him.  
  ‘We’ll have plenty of time for that in London,’ I said, trying to ignore the warm feeling his hands and mouth were giving me and the urges building inside with his every touch.  
 Oh how I wished we had more time right now!   

But I knew time wasn’t on our side, we needed to move and we needed to do it fast.

  ‘You’re right,’ he sighed as he leaned his head against mine and stared into my eyes for a second,’ no regrets?’  
  ‘Not one,’ I said with a smile as I broke the hug and grabbed his hand to pull him with me,’ come on, Tom’ 

He followed me with a smile as he shook his head .

After stopping at my hotel to pick up my stuff we took a cab to the airport.  Loki carried my suitcase and held my hand the entire time, if he was nervous at all he didn’t show it, he walked the terminal with his usual calm confidence.  

We passed through customs without a glitch, nobody suspected anything and the only people who even looked at him twice were some women eyeing him hungrily when they thought I wasn’t watching.    
He never seemed to notice though, he just smiled at me and squeezed my hand a little harder every time he noticed the nerves on my face.

 I let him have the window seat, mostly to keep him out of sight of the other passengers, and I let out a relieved heavy sigh as I leaned back into the chair next to him, glad one of the hardest parts was over.

  ‘Hey, we made it’ he assured me as he took my hand.    
‘We’re not there yet’ I said as I looked at him, I still wasn’t used to the blue eyes and blond hair but the sweet expression on his face was still exactly the same as when he first looked at me on Christmas eve, it seemed like so long ago now.

 ‘It’s okay Scar’ he spoke softly, letting his fingers slip in between mine and bringing my hand to his mouth to kiss the palm of my hand.    
I smiled at the feel of his cold lips on my skin.    
‘It’s okay’ he repeated in a whisper and I laid my head on his shoulder.

‘There’s something I haven’t told you yet’ I then said.  
 ‘What is it?’ he asked surprised,’ you can tell me anything, you know that’

I nodded my head.    
‘I’m not very good with flying,’ I confessed,’ I’ve never made it through a flight sober before, being up in the air freaks me out every time…this is not an exception’ 

‘Oh but it is’ he then said softly, showing me that soft smile that always calmed me down as he took my hand onto his lap and put his other arm around my neck to pull me against his chest.

‘Loki…’ I sighed softly.   
‘Shhht,’ he whispered,’ this time I’m here, and everything will be fine’

He lifted my chin slowly so he could look into my eyes.

  ‘I am not going to let anything happen to you Scar,’ he then spoke softly,’ not ever again’

He leaned down to kiss me, a kiss to calm me down and to convince me of what I already knew, that this time everything would be fine and I was finally safe.

  ‘I believe you,’ I whispered as I took his face between my hands and kissed him, slowly, allowing myself to fade into the soft intensity of his kiss. 

I sank down in his arms a little bit later as he continued to stroke my hair and kiss my forehead, before the plane even took off I had fallen into a deep peaceful sleep.

  I never saw the way his eyes stayed on me during the rest of the flight with that small happy smile curled on his lips, I didn’t feel his fingers as they kept caressing my hair and how his lips kissed my face repeatedly and I never heard him when he whispered the words into my ear,’ I love you Scar’

 

 


End file.
